Oh silly life weighing me down

Sometimes work makes me feel . . . jaded I guess you could say. I am usually really good I think about not carrying too much of the sadness around with me, but recently it's been a little worse than usual. It's so hard to see kids fail and realize that they don't have a shot in hell in surviving this life without ending up in jail or an abusive relationship or dead. It's really hard to hear that a kid who just moved on a month ago ended up blowing out of the foster home and is back in the hospital. Or have a kid who is so attached to you that he literally loses it when you work with another kid. He freaks out and you can just see how abandoned he feels. He punches himself in the face leaving bruises, cries, bites himself, tries to strangle himself, etc . . . Or there's the kid who lays in your lap who says that he just wants a family. It's so depressing. It certainly makes me think when I'm feeling sad about my life what a fool I am.
On a happier note, both my soccer teams won this week. (Although technically we don't keep score!) But my girls won like 4-1 and my boys were like 11-1 or something like that and they could have scored a lot more. I was proud of all my little guys though. They were all so cute. And they tried really hard to follow directions.
We lost in soccer again. Although I pretty much expect that. We have a lot of girls who have never even played before and are pretty much afraid of the ball. I felt like I played a lot better this week than I had been at least. So I wasn't quite sucking it up so much. And Cristina and I had some good passing going on. And we stole it from some guys on the other team multiple times and they weren't so happy about that.
Lou Lou got a haircut. She looks like a fool and naked. But man I really love that dog. She's currently laying on my foot cause she has to be right on top of you to do anything. It is kind of endearing though.
Next week both my roomies are going to be out of town. Perhaps I should have a huge house party. Ok not really at all, but it sounded like an interesting idea!
Less than a month until alumni. I can't wait. Mary called last weekend asking if I could talk to Kevin about a place. It wasn't quite last minute so I will call him but I can't guarantee an answer since he doesn't work for Truman and have e-mail anymore. I did say that if they waited until October to call me I wasn't going to help because I don't like when they ask at the last minute and then I have to try to get ahold of him. But they made the deadline so I'm going to do the best I can.
Well I think it's about bedtime. Goodnight girls.

These lyrics are sad but true.

Quote of the entry:
"He's born to shimmer
born to shine
born to radiate
born to live
born to love
but we'll teach him how to hate."
- "Shimmer" - Shawn Mullins

I am such a slacker

It's been a while. I'm getting to be a slacker at these things. And my newsletters. I've had mine written for 3 weeks now but for some reason it just seems so hard to actually print it and send it out. Well perhaps that will be a project for the weekend.
My birthday was great. Linds invited a few friends for a surprise only not surprise dinner. It was fun though and she tried! Also got some awesome gifts. Halleh's helping me try to be a girl (and an alcoholic), Elizabeth is supporting my St. Louisness, and my twin is helping me kill my free time (I made a cool pyramid the other day twin). Linds gave me my gift months ago but still tied a bow on it for my birthday. Lucy also got me a lovely hanger for the back of the door only she accidentally drilled all the way through my door. I guess Lou Lou isn't so good with power tools. My dad even remembered and sent me a card and gift certificate. I was really happy about that.
My life is pretty jam-packed currently. Not much free time to get stuff done. But I did manage to decorate my room today so it finally has some character.
Tomorrow has a couple premiers that I'm pumped to watch.
I'm currently going through the bad time of the month where I think everything is sad. It's pretty sad really. I know it's bad when commercials can make me cry. I need like one good one so that I can get it all over with. I knew being a girl sucked. Sometimes I feel like I care about things too much. I'm too sympathetic and worry so much about people. I take things to the extremes. I wonder if I'll always be like that.
It was sad that Steve Irwin died. It was weird the different actors and actresses that spoke at his memorial. I didn't know that many people liked him so much.


Lyric of the entry:
"I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel"
- "Scars" Papa Roach

I'm a true Coloradoan . . . no pretending here

Ok I'm sufficiently freaked out. I went to Whole Foods the other day because I wanted to. BECAUSE I WANTED TO. DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE THE PROBLEM HERE?
First I have a Columbia jacket.
Second I just bought a snowboard.
Third I carry my water bottle with me everywhere.
Fourth I shopped at Whole Foods.
My life is ending.
I guess to combat this I did wear my RAMS shirt all weekend to support them instead of the Broncos. GO RAMS!! AND WE WON!!! I still try to drive like a St. Louis driver. I still don't buy the organic fruit.
Anyways just a random Colorado update.
I love you all!