So this one time I was kinda drunk

Oh wait that time was now - my bad. So I'm concentrating super hard to make sure that all my letters and everythign are ok.
So I went out to a Halloween party with Linds and I think drank a bit more than was really needed. It was with a bunch of like older people but it was super fun. That's the great things about being out with older people; You don't feel like they are judging you. We had some intense games of flipcup (although we had to explain how that game works in colleges thesee days - they had these crazy illogical rules). Then we walked 2 and a hal f miles home. That's ridiculous. 2 and a half miles and I'd pretty much be outside the K-Ville city limits. So we stopped at Qdoba on the way homes (like Taco Bell only much more expensive). It was a long walk and took a long time. We needed a snack. And I got a big fatty burrito. It was tasty. Only I got full.
Anyways minus walk home crisis, really good time meeting a lot of cool, very fun people. So yay for a good night actually going out in Ft. Collins!
And I wore my Cardinal Red - GO CARDS! I know this season is over but we'll be back!
Ok I'm totally spent.

You gotta rant somewhere

You know I think the world would be a better place if everyone followed that old "Let whoever has no sins cast the first stone" motto. I don't think people have a right to criticize others and everything that they do wrong until they feel certain that their life is perfect and there's nothing to criticize there. If you want to criticize something, criticize yourself and make yourself a better person first. Even Michael Jackson got the whole "I'm starting with the man in the mirror" thing. It just bothers me when others just sit there and nit pick other people. Why bring others down when we could forget the little things and help people feel good about themselves and bring them up instead?

Quote of the entry: "There is so much good in the worst of us, And so much bad in the best of us, That it ill behooves any of us, To say anything about the rest of us." ~Unknown

No more food before bedtime

So I had quite the strange dream last night and it seemed to last like the entire night long. It was so strange. I ran into Tom, like ex-boyfriend from HS who I no longer would do anything with Tom, and decided to go back to his house with him. By ran into I mean he came and got me out of my bed. Actually I think we were at 415 cause I was sleeping upstairs with Linds cause we had been drinking. So I go back to his house with him and some of his friends and some other girls. And I think we were going to be alone and make out or something but then Creed showed up and was sitting there with us and flirting with Tom too. It was so strange. Especially cause by this point I think I really did want to do something with Tom. So Creed is sitting in between us on the couch so nothing ended up happening and I think we stayed up the rest of the night. So I don't really know what happened all day but by the end of the day I was frustrated and really tired by this point and I called Linds cause I wanted her to come get me. But Linds shows up with the whole Bullets team. Michaella was there and she apparently had just moved cause she had been living in a house with a combination of adults, children, and pets that added up to 24 bodies. And she was like directing the team. Like there were all these girls with injuries and she was like a head nurse or something telling which one to take meds when and reminding people to switch from heat to ice and back and what not. Then I was really mad cause it turned out I guess there had been a guys party that day and I missed it. And it has some theme and the girls team made a book for the party that included pictures and then quotes from the players (not on rugby, just quotes on life) and then all the players' favorite quotes. So I was thumbing through reading this and everyone started eating food at Tom's and then no one wanted to leave even though I so desperately did. And then I woke up. I'm sure there was more but that's all I can remember. It was rather odd though and I woke up in a strange mood due to it. So there you go! I'm sure that was kinda boring but hey that's what happened.

Quote of the Entry: "Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." ~William Dement

Halleh Halleh Halleh

So this morning Linds woke me up when she went to class cause I asked her to. She was putting on my pants and I was giving her a hard time about it. Then she said that it was purple day. And in my half asleep state I was like "oh really?" And so she put on a white shirt with Purple on it and then a purple Truman sweatshirt. She was like "We have to wear purple in honor. . . "
I was like "In honor of what?" And so of course she says, "In honor of Halleh." So for those of you that were unaware and unfortunately weren't reminded that it is purple day in honor of Halleh by Lindsay this morning, I just wanted to let you all know. So congratualations Halleh, I'm wearing purple for you today!

I actually have things to do today . . . I might actually have a life afterall

So yes Ms. Gentry I did in fact promise to update. The problem is the more I thought about it the more I was afraid to write anything cause I realized that very soon it is my turn to do another lovely newsletter. And since we just saw each other I began to PANIC that I would have nothing to write about.
So I have 2 meetings today for some volunteer work I'm looking into doing. The first one went really well. I'm looking forward to doing it. I'll write more in my newsletter for you to hear about. I'm even getting my gas paid for the first volunteer thing so that's exciting.
I've decided to be a Cardinals fan for Hallowen. I told Linds I didn't want to be anything but she kept pestering me so I said a St Louis Girl. Then I said a Cardinals fan and was kind of joking but then I decided I really would. I got some red hair spray to wear and some red face stuff and I plan on wearing all my Cards gear. So that's the plan stan. And perhaps I'll even get a few cans of Busch since it'll go with my outfit. Now Ms. Scheitlin can quit worrying about me and figure out what she's gonna do instead!
Well I have to be at another meeting at noon and then head straight to the 2-10:30 shift and I still have to eat lunch so I better get going. But at least that's a little something to read Elizabeth.

Quote of the Entry: "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." ~Winston Churchill

I had to write immediately . . .

Ok so I planned on updating this today anyways and I still may later but for now I had to write this cause it was too funny. So I was on Elizabeth's journal and randomly decided to look at Andy's which I never do so what are the odds. Anyways Andy talks about the ABC party and then some guy who wore a phone book on his butt and how gross it was. Then he says you can go look at pictures so I do and of course phone book butt boy is Matty H. Or at least I'm pretty positive that's him. So if you want a bit of humor in your life check that out.
Anyways that it's for now. I'll update later this afternoon or tomorrow, but now I must shower and look into getting a Colorado license!

Days go By

I have like an hour before I have to leave for training so I thought that I'd update the old journal.
Things are going fine here. The weekend was rather busy. Friday during the day I had training. It was a lot of fun. It was crazy hair day, although I was unaware of this. So when the kids were all getting their hair sprayed crazy colors I let a couple of them spray my hair blue and red. It was interesting to say the least. Overall a really good day of training though. The kids were in pretty good moods. Friday night two of Lindsay's friends came over for dinner. We had chips and guacamole, quesedillas, spanish rice, flan, and Corona. It was tasty. They hung out for a little while watching Sex and the City and then they took off early.
Saturday morning Linds made breakfast (potatos, bacon, eggs, etc.) and we watched a movie. Then I headed off to the Loveland book sale (and got a book about the bible, a book about the Cards, and then just a fiction book) and then to work. It was my first time training at the younger house. I had a 4 year old cuss me out and throw a basket of laundry and some toys at me. Other than that it was a good time though.
Sunday I got up early to head to church. Then Linds and I went to the rugby games. Colorado State played Wyoming (who was down two players from the beginning, and then one got hurt so they were down three players). Colorado only won 12-5 though. Not so impressive for playing most of the time 15 on 12. Then we went to old town and looked at some of the stores and got big waffle cones from Ben and Jerry's. Those were rather tasty. Then we came back to watch Sunday Night TV. It was fascinating that Extreme Home Makeover was a house and camp that I've heard of and everything in Missouri.
Ok I have to run Audra to class so that's all for now!

T-Minus 1 week till I leave with my roomies for alumni!

So I'm in a much better mood these days. Especially since I have a place to go to and things to do sometimes now that I'm training for work.
Things are improving around the house I think. Things had been a little awkward recently, but last night was definitely a grand time. Except as Audra pointed out she likes it that me and Linds are both here cause we make each other tell stories and what not. Linds kept bringing up boys in my past (for example Ryan Oklahoma and the night with Creed and Kyle forever ago). So then I had to tell Audra to ask Linds about Phi Tau Brian. It was quite humorous.
Last night was my first night training at work. It was fun. It's interesting cause I'm still trying to figure out the rules and what not. But I train again tonight from 2-10:30 then tomorrow from 7AM-3 then Saturday from 2-10:30 then Monday from 2-10:30 then I'm done with in house training. My co-workers seem really nice and there seem to be a lot of younger people so I'm excited about that. And they were talking about how when the kids go to bed at 8-8:30 and your shift doesn't end till 10:30 you should spend this time (obviously keeping somewhat an eye on the kids - but one person is really in charge of that) talking to your co-workers so that you don't take the job home with you and so that you can get out things that bothered you.
There was another guy training with me last night. He's from Japan, but then he lived in San Francisco from ages 4-10, then back to Japan, then New York for college, then here. Interesting life huh? He was really nice. I'm training with him again tonight. I think we may become friends which I would be excited about. Then I'd have my first friend in Colorado.
Kevin e-mailed me last night and it was hilarious. I read it when I got home from work and I almost fell out of the chair cause I was cracking up at him. Then Linds wanted to read it cause I looked so funny reading it. I'm so excited to see them all when I get back. Michaella, I haven't asked him yet about a place for alumni cause he just e-mailed me back and I was waiting for that. Although now I don't want to e-mail him and ask him for a favor cause it makes it seem like that was why I told him I'd take him to lunch and stuff. So we'll see. How desperate is the situation? Do we have a place at all?
What's fun is when I get home and my roommates are doing homework and I'm like "Oh isn't that adorable? You two are doing homework!" And then I proceed to play on the computer and tell them what's going to be on TV this week and how it must be rough to still be a student and everything. And tell them that maybe one day they can be grown up like me and not have to do schoolwork anymore! (but only if they try hard and study a lot) And overall just torture them while they try to get work done.
Well I guess I better shower and eat lunch and what not before I head off to all of these wild kids! I'm going to need my energy for sure. I don't need to train for alumni - all the races, and basketball matches, and pushing of the merry-go-round are training enough.

Quote of the entry: "The road to happiness lies in two simple principles; find what interests you and that you can do well, and put your whole soul into it - every bit of energy and ambition and natural ability you have." ~ John D. Rockefeller

So for those of you that haven't heard yet or that I forgot to tell, Brennan's mom died last Friday (the 30th of September). Whenever I think that I have things shitty, I just have to look at him. That sucks. He handles it all really well though. I have a lot of respect for him.

Cards playoff game #3 this evening

Sometimes I get the real impression that I don't belong anywhere. That I'm too old for my own good and too young for adults to take me seriously. That I have too many memories that I can't get out and no one seems to understand. My twin is very helpful sometimes, but there are others. Ones that I don't think I've ever told anyone. Not because they're particularly horrible, but because I don't think people understand. I don't know it's hard to explain. I just wish that things were different. Or that I knew of a way to get rid of the past and move on. That I knew of a way to look past the things my family has said, the things the team has said, the things that I tell myself and to actually find a good person somewhere in there. I haven't given up hope yet that that person exists and someday I'll be able to become that good person that I wish I already was.
Now that's enough from me. I got an on call job (they have full time jobs opening this month so we'll see) at a residential home for kids. They have 2 houses. One for like 3-7 year olds and one for like 8-12 year olds. These kids all suffer from psych disorders (many have PTSD from living through traumatic events). I got to play with them yesterday. I ran a lot of races, threw the football, played on the swings, etc. It was a good time. I have a lot of respect for these kids who try to be so resilient and still have so much love despite the way many of them have been treated. It's the same feeling I have for a lot of kids at the shelter. They're amazing.
I went to Friday night mass yesterday. I think I was one of like 7 people under 35. 4 of those 7 were under 6. And the other 2 were teenage girls there with their parents. Everyone else was like 60. It was kinda funny. But I liked it. Church is becoming my favorite place. It's so peaceful.
Well I think it's time for me to find something to do with the day. I really need to get more settled into living here.

Quote of the Entry: "As memory may be a paradise from which we cannot be driven, it may also be a hell from which we cannot escape." -John Lancaster Spalding

If I didn't have a watch that told me the date and the day of the week I think I'd be totally lost

So I keep having these long drawn out dreams at night that I know last at least a couple hours (cause I wake up and look at my watch and go back to sleep and find myself right back where I left off and repeat this cycle over and over). Last night's was some really weird one in which Linds was pledging in some soccer sorority thing and I was supposed to be too. But I didn't want to. They thought I was a horrible soccer player and then I didn't really want to get trashed cause I didn't even really know anyone so then I offered to sober drive cause they were all drunk and starving and wanted a ride but they weren't happy with that either. I just felt really out of place and annoyed and upset cause no one liked me and Linds was busy with all these people and what not. I'm sure I could do a real psych number on my dreams.
So let's see I can't write too much about my life cause I plan on sending my newsletter out today or tomorrow.
I do want to put a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELIZABETH in here. Some one sure is getting old huh?
So I think I'm finally starting to learn my way around a little bit. I can get to Walmart and the bank and church and the drive in and the football stadium and that's about it. But that's a good start right. I really just haven't tried to go that many places. There's nothing I really need so . . . there's no where in particular to go.
The Friends of the Library are having a book sale this weekend that I think I'm going to go to. Even though I have a ton of books from the one I went to in St. Charles and haven't gotten a chance to read yet. But those are a good way to get good books for pretty cheap. Plus I like to read and I think that once I get all settled here I'll start reading more. So I'm not sure how good this sale'll be but hopefully I'll find a couple good books.
Hmm let's see what else? Last night I cooked us some Caribbean Chicken Chili. It was pretty good. It had like sweet onions, chicken, white beans, jerk seasonings, etc . . . And then after it's cooked you add some mango and cilantro as a garnish. I was worried about how it would turn out, but it went OK.
The Cardinals won game one yesterday and so did the White Sox. So good day for baseball!
Ok well I must get going. Linds and I are off to Walmart. It's just like Kirksville (I think I've been to Walmart like 5 times already!)

Quote of the entry: "One of the most adventurous things left us is to go to bed. For no one can lay a hand on our dreams." ~ E. V. Lucas