Cards playoff game #3 this evening

Sometimes I get the real impression that I don't belong anywhere. That I'm too old for my own good and too young for adults to take me seriously. That I have too many memories that I can't get out and no one seems to understand. My twin is very helpful sometimes, but there are others. Ones that I don't think I've ever told anyone. Not because they're particularly horrible, but because I don't think people understand. I don't know it's hard to explain. I just wish that things were different. Or that I knew of a way to get rid of the past and move on. That I knew of a way to look past the things my family has said, the things the team has said, the things that I tell myself and to actually find a good person somewhere in there. I haven't given up hope yet that that person exists and someday I'll be able to become that good person that I wish I already was.
Now that's enough from me. I got an on call job (they have full time jobs opening this month so we'll see) at a residential home for kids. They have 2 houses. One for like 3-7 year olds and one for like 8-12 year olds. These kids all suffer from psych disorders (many have PTSD from living through traumatic events). I got to play with them yesterday. I ran a lot of races, threw the football, played on the swings, etc. It was a good time. I have a lot of respect for these kids who try to be so resilient and still have so much love despite the way many of them have been treated. It's the same feeling I have for a lot of kids at the shelter. They're amazing.
I went to Friday night mass yesterday. I think I was one of like 7 people under 35. 4 of those 7 were under 6. And the other 2 were teenage girls there with their parents. Everyone else was like 60. It was kinda funny. But I liked it. Church is becoming my favorite place. It's so peaceful.
Well I think it's time for me to find something to do with the day. I really need to get more settled into living here.

Quote of the Entry: "As memory may be a paradise from which we cannot be driven, it may also be a hell from which we cannot escape." -John Lancaster Spalding